Children and Divorce - Three Tips for Parents Who Want To Help Their Kids Cope
Divorce is all too common in western countries. Typically 50% of all marriages fail, and the unfortunate reality is that the words children and divorce apply to literally millions of kids around the world.
When a divorce occurs, children often feel like the bottom has fallen out of their world. The mother and father together in a healthy marriage provide a secure environment for children, and when this is suddenly gone they are susceptible to all kinds of emotional troubles. They may become aggressive, or they may withdraw. Behavioural problems are common, as is poor performance in schoolwork. Their confidence will often be affected when faced with the challenge of adjusting to a new reality.
Thankfully there are some steps that concerned parents can take to help their children through this painful experience.
Firstly, make sure you put extra effort into letting your children know how much you love them, and that the divorce is not their fault. They will most likely need more reassurance than is normal, and the more positive words and positive shared experiences during this time the better.
Secondly, resist from being critical of your ex-spouse in front of the children, as regardless of their shortcomings they will always be the other parent of your children. Its best if you are always cordial and work cooperatively for the good of your offspring.
Thirdly, give your children time and space to express themselves. It is a huge issue for them, and their feelings wont be resolved immediately. One good idea is to ask them to record their thoughts in a journal. This provides a positive and non-destructive outlet for emotions that are running deep.
If children and divorce is a reality in your situation, you can put these tips into practice. If you do will be on the way to helping your children cope and face the future with confidence and hope.
Wayne and Jenny Gillie are parents and school teachers, and have established http://www.buildkidsconfidence.com as a resource for parents and teachers who want to improve the self confidence of their children or students.
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