Divorce Due to Infidelity - The Lessons Children Learn
The main function of an ideal family is to provide for the children and consolidate oneself as a social institution. The family is also responsible for the enculturation and socialization of the children. In these respects the children learn from and follow their parents.
The Parents
The parents can be either biological, that is those who have sired the children or non biological that is one who has not sired the children but are responsible for nurturing them. The roles of parents change over a period of time.
This role can be the initial one of siring and then rearing the newborn offspring. Thereafter the role of a parent changes to that of a guide who shows the way and guides his or her child through the course of life. In post marital stage this guide turns into a friend.
Parental Impact on Children
The impact of a parent on his or her children is tremendous. It is important to note that the said impact is not simply through the spoken words or actions directed towards the children. Children are keen observers and learn through observation.
Thus it is important for the child as to how his or her parents treat him. It is equally important for the child as to how the parents relate to each other. This is but natural as the parents are the role models for their children.
The most influential people in the life of a child are the parents. Children tend to copy the mannerisms and phrases of their parents. However, the parents mean much more than this to their children. They are the role models in all crucial aspects of life.
It is the parents who teach children about work ethics, domestic skills and friendships. Once again it is the parents who teach their children about problem solving and effective communication besides intimate relations. This learning is again mostly through observation.
Parental Impact in Case of Infidelity
The children continue to learn these lessons even when they grow up. When there is a divorce amongst the parents, then it can naturally upset the children a great deal. Here too they learn their own lessons. However if the divorce is on account of infidelity on the part of one parent, then the lessons learnt can be truly unacceptable in nature.
We all value the good things in life. We value honesty, straightforward behaviour, having somebody as steadfast and someone who can be banked upon. Unfortunately in case of parental divorce on account of infidelity, the children may learn the exact opposite values.
Besides the values learned, their entire outlook towards life might be contorted. An affair of a parent, teaches their children the lessons of life which no parent will want their child to learn. To begin with they may not be able to face the pain involved.
If the parents are facing a marital conflict then the child is automatically impacted. He or she may feel varying emotions of confusion, loneliness and sadness. The child might think that everything is his or her fault and develop a feeling of guilt.
There might be a feeling of abandonment also as the family give security to the child. The child might end up as disturbed and worried. The number of negative emotions that may bombard the child in such a scenario can leave scars for the rest of his or her life.
It is possible for the child to go in a denial mode, as he or she is unable to cope up with all the pain involved. This is likely to reflect in later life also and the child may not be capable of dealing with problems later on in his or her life.
Besides this if the child is drawn into the conflict by either parent, who may wish to hide his or her adultery from the spouse, the child may be asked to tell lies. In this manner children learn that it is okay to tell lies if it saves them from some trouble.
If the adulterous relationship progresses in front of the child then the child may learn further lessons in deceit from his or her adulterous parent. The child may learn that it is all right to be deceitful if it protects the privacy of an individual.
Another lesson that will be automatically taught to the child is that it is all right to be uncaring and thoughtless towards the feelings of those around us if it leads to pleasures for one self. These are some of the lessons that children learn in case of a divorce on account of infidelity amongst their parents.
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you are concerned about data loss and would like more information on Data Recovery see http://www.fields-data-recovery.co.uk
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